Act Confident and no one will question you
"Act confident and no one will question you" a trademark quote from funny, fitness and lifestyle YouTuber Sarah's Day. I love this saying and it resonates with me a lot, but lately I have been grappling with the first bit...'act confident' and wondering how the heck I am supposed to do that?
When I was in High School I had pretty bad skin (it kinda followed me into adulthood also grrr) but I thought that I probably shouldn't wear make up to cover it up. Not because I was concerned about clogging my pores but because I thought that I wasn't popular or attractive enough to wear make up. I was convinced that people would see me wearing gunk on my face and think "Who does she think she is wearing all that make up to school?" It's delusional thinking if it now, but it made complete sense back then!
Fast forward a couple of years later, I had entered the dating game. I found myself being one of those witty texters who was an absolute basket case in person. I was too scared that people wouldn't like the real me, that I would be weird and socially awkward and muck things up. And pretty much because I was acting weird and socially awkward that's what happened. I had no faith in my own ability, qualities or worthiness.
Even today I find it happening but it's just not related to dating or friends. What I have found in dealing with these thoughts and feelings is that self-confidence can't come from other people, it has to come from yourself and really what it comes down to is knowing who you are and genuinely liking that person. Maybe that's why I had so much trouble acting confident in High School and even as a young adult, I had no idea who I was and then, when I found out, I didn't like her that much.
When I think about it, the main reason I didn't like this person, wasn't because I thought I was a bad person, but rather, because I thought other people might think I was a bad person. There I was again, worried about the perceptions of others.
In the last few years, things have changed. I found out who I am. And I started to like her because I stopped worrying if other's didn't. At the end of the day, the only thing you can control is how you treat others, your thoughts and actions. You cannot control others. So maybe that's where confidence comes from?
Knowing who you are
Loving yourself despite your flaws
Treating yourself and others with kindness
Being unapologetically and completely 'you'
I can't say that I'm completely 'there' yet, but like all great masterpieces, it's a work in progress. And if all else fails, fake it till you make it... I'm still faking it!