How to overcome heartbreak
No, I'm not currently heartbroken.
But I have been many times and chances are, I will be again one day. Heartbreak can mean more than going through a break-up or having someone you like not return those feelings. Sometimes heartbreak is losing a pet or a loved one. Sometimes it's missing out on a job. At times, heartbreak is growing up and realising your not sure what you want to do with your life. In any case, it always sucks and while generally we learn and grow from the experience, knowing that doesn't help when your knee deep in it. While I haven't gone through any gut-wrenching experiences recently, I have experienced all of these things at some point in my life and take it from someone who approached heartbreak wrong...there are ways to do it right and be a better person for it.
Number One: Lean on those you love
If your like me, 'Miss Independent' then you like to do everything yourself, not feel like you have to 'need' anyone and don't like to show others your vulnerabilities. But when your going through a hard time, no matter what it is, your family and friends are the ones you can count on. Yeah you may be feeling like shit, but if your best friend wants to take you to the movies, take her up on it. If your mum invites you around for a cuppa, say yes. You may not feel inclined to divulge every thought and detail of your situation to these people (Or you may find that therapeutic- it's your call) but trust me, being around people who genuinely care about you will make you feel a tonne better, and perhaps may even take your mind of the crappy situation you are going through. When I went through a rough patch a number of years ago, my family and friends were a God-send. I literally felt like I couldn't be alone for a while there and luckily for me, I didn't have to.
Number Two: Don't give in to social media
For some people going through a tough time, social media has the biggest allure. I cannot tell you the amount of Facebook or Instagram posts I have seen with people sharing intimate details of their current situation. Now while it's important to have someone to talk to, should you need it, your entire friends list is not exactly what I am talking about. This is particularly true if you are going through a break-up. I cannot tell you how many times I wanted to call out people on social media when I was going through stuff, but I took the high road and kept my dignity. Those who like to shame others on the internet may just be bringing shame to yourself. If you feel tempted to say or post things online that you could end up regretting later, then maybe its time to take a break from social media until you are starting to feel better and make clearer choices.
Number Three: See the forest through the trees
In a sad or frustrating situation, it can be pretty hard to look on the bright side. Try to see this situation as an opportunity. It could be an opportunity for a new career, a reminder of the importance of spending quality time with family or perhaps it's an opportunity for something greater, something you have never thought possible for yourself. Often times we see a break-up as a sign that you are somehow 'less' but perhaps that situation is a sign that you were more. That you were more than you gave yourself credit for. That you deserve someone more in the form of a partner. Maybe the end of that relationship is an opportunity for you to love yourself first, to enjoy being alone and to find someone who treats you like you deserve.
So here is to overcoming heartbreak. To standing up, looking fear in the eye, throwing down our staff and bellowing "You shall not pass". Here is to riding in on horseback twirling a sword and doing that weird Xena holler thingy. We may not be magicians or warrior princesses but we are warriors and we will overcome everything with dignity and come out on the other side looking like a million bucks...with a killer story to tell.